My name is Teuchi!
by Turbotail88
Summary: "MY NAME IS TEUCHI DAMN ITTT!" Honestly, couldn't people stop calling him by the name of his restaurant? K plus for mild cursing. Enjoy!


My name is Teuchi!

One-shot

Aggravation!

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO! ANYTHING THAT SCREAMS NARUTO BELONGS TO MASASHI KISHIMOTO!**

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><p>Teuchi was smiling as he washed the dishes. It was currently seven o'clock and business was slow. His Number One Customer A.K.A. Naruto Uzumaki was on a 'Super Cool Mission' as he called it and wouldn't be back for days. The old ramen chef looked to the side to see Ayame serving up a bowl of pork ramen. It seemed like second nature to her as she poured the broth into the bowl, a few droplets sliding down its side.<p>

The steaming, calorie-filled delight was set in front of a young man with short, light brown hair styled into a long buzz cut. He had high cheek bones, a stoic face and dark brown eyes that looked like a pair of fudge icicles. Then, surprisingly, the man smiled and snapped his chopsticks; grabbing a few noodles and slurping them up gracefully.

_'___Ah… the wonders of ramen.. It's times like these that I don't regret opening up a ramen stand; despite my late wife's protests..'__Teuchi thought with fondness and a hint of sadness. He thought about his old ramen stand, open for over thirty years and _still _looking good. Even after the whole 'Pain Invasion Thing'.

"Uh, hello! Earth to Dad!" Ayame waved her hand in front of her father's face. He was washing the dishes until he suddenly spaced out. Teuchi shook his head quickly and looked at his beloved daughter. She was growing up to be a lovely woman. Heck, she was already a few inches taller than him! The forty-seven-year-old man looked at his eighteen-year-old daughter with love before she puffed her cheeks out then sighed.

"Dad! Are you okay? Is the ramen's steam getting to you or something?" Ayame asked with concern in her voice.

"Huh? What? Oh no, dear. I was just… thinking," Teuchi replied nonchalantly.

"Thinking, huh? About what?" Ayame interrogated her father suspiciously.

He laughed nervously. "A-about how it's so quiet without Naruto here! Ahah…" he trailed off nervously, praying to Kami Ayame would believe him.

She eyed him suspiciously before she sighed, putting a hand on her head. She pushed back a lock of brown hair away from her face and fixed her white bandana. "Alright, Dad, you win. But if there's something wrong __please__tell me. Okay?" she gave him the worldwide known 'puppy dog eyes' that women were known to use to charm men. He tried to resist it, but his efforts were futile as he mentally cried anime tears.

"Ah.. Okay. I promise I'll tell you, Ayame," he smiled and patted his daughter's head. He returned once more to washing the never-ending dishes. Just then, the brown-haired man stood up and placed a few ryo on the counter. Ayame walked to pickup the bowl and placed the money in a container.

Just then, before the man left he thanked Ayame and leaned above the counter.

"Thank you for the meal, Ichiraku-san!" the man yelled loudly. He left just as an enraged Teuchi slammed a butcher knife onto the counter.

"D-dad! What are you doing?" Ayame frighteningly inquired.

A blazing fire burned in Teuchi's eyes. It's been the tenth time today someone has called him by the name of his restaurant! The man's words replayed themselves in his head. They echoed, as if mocking Teuchi's very existence.

__Thank you for the meal, Ichiraku-san!__

__Thank you for the meal, Ichiraku-san!__

__Ichiraku-san!__

"MY NAME IS TEUCHI DAMN ITTT!" he suddenly yelled, raising his knife above his head, turning around and throwing it. The knife flew past Ayame, barely skinning her as it embedded itself into the wall.

Ayame's eyes became as round as ramen bowls as she witnessed her father's mad ninja skills. Her jaw dropped and she sweat dropped as her father began to pant in anger.

"D-dad?" she approached him with caution.

And, just as quickly as it happened, he turned around smiling like he owned a billion bucks. He somehow magically produced a glass and rag as he wiped the inside continuously. Ayame chuckled nervously.

"A-are you sure you're alright?" Ayame inquired.

He gave her such an innocent look you would think he hadn't just thrown a butcher knife.

"Of course, Ayame? Why would you think otherwise?" he replied innocently.

Ayame face palmed at this and shook her head. "Never mind… Just… never mind…" She threw her hands up in the air as she walked out of the stand.

"I'm taking a break, Dad!" she yelled exasperatedly.

Teuchi looked at her in confusion before he sighed and put the glass down. He looked back and walked to the butcher knife still stuck in the wall. He pulled it out with ease and slid it into a sheath. He then placed the knife inside his apron's pocket as he walked to the counter. He wiped the counter with a rag just as a boy with hazel-coloured eyes and coffee-brown hair walked by. The boy smiled mischievously before cupping his hands around his mouth.

"OHAYO ICHIRAKU-SAAAAAN!" the boy exclaimed loudly.

All movement ceased for Teuchi as his hand froze on the rag. He slowly looked up with demonic eyes and the boy feared for his life for a moment. Teuchi pulled the knife out, sheathed of course, and jumped over the counter.

"MY NAME IS TEUCHI DAMN ITTTT!"

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><p><strong>Hey guys! Just thought I'd publish this after an inspiration. Honestly, it really riles me up whenever people call Teuchi Ichiraku JUST 'cause that's the name of his restaurant. It's a real author peeve for me. I hope you guys enjoyed this parody as much as I did! XD<strong>

**07/24/13: revised, changed those damn semicolons and removed those annoying a/n**


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